Apostrophe's in the wild 6It’s not often that a mere sign – even one displaying a frankly staggering ineptitude with the English language – leaves me speechless, but this particular example of apostrophe abuse came close.

Note the shotgun-like approach to grammar involved in this image, where every single S is preceded by an errant apostrophe – with the  exception of “brows” and “extensions,” which I can only assume were missed by mistake.

The sign may declare that “Beauty Matterz,” but I posit that grammar ‘matterz’ more.

Sainsbury's FailAnother day, another sad tale of apostrophe abuse.

It seems that the simple rule of “an apostrophe never pluralises” is too much for the shopkeepers of our great nation.  While we’re already aware of the horrendous abuse piled upon the innocent possessive apostrophe by Asda, we could perhaps forgive the Septic owners – Mall-Wart – for their crimes, being as they are somewhat backward in the linguistic stakes as a consequence of their birth nation.

Sadly, there can be no such excuse for Sainsbury’s – and how ironic it is that the company name is correctly formatted with a possessive apostrophe of its own.  If only it could have alerted its guardians as to their folly as they proceed to litter an aisle sign with not one, but two superfluous of its brethren.  For shame.

Apostrophe's in the wild 4: Asda LivingThose poor apostrophes keep getting abused – left out in the cold in places they have no right being.

Take, for example, this woeful tale of a poor innocent apostrophe who found himself sandwiched between “DVD” and “s” at the Asda Living store in Forster Square, Bradford.

Clearly there was some twisted logic in the minds of his tormentors: after all, you use an apostrophe to indicate missing letters, right?  The ultimate D in DVD stands for “Disc”, which means there are missing letters – ergo an apostrophe is required, right?

Sadly for our poor, misused apostrophe: wrong.  An apostrophe, as I’m sure you are aware, never pluralises.  Remember: no means no.

Apostrophe Abuse 3: WickesJust a quick update to reassure people that not only am I not dead, I still haven’t given up on a life of pedantry.

The latest entry in the Hall of Apostrophe Abuse comes courtesy of Wickes in Bradford, which managed to forbid a trolley from taking something past the nicely laminated sign – although I’m at a loss as to what.  Presumably a trolley bereft of belongings is welcome to proceed as far as it cares.

Hopefully I’ll have time for a more loquacious update this weekend.

Apostrophe Abuse: 02Today’s example of Apostrophe Abuse comes courtesy of Energy Innovation in Halifax.  You’d think that when you’ve gone to all the effort – and expense – of getting a shiny, custom, mirrored sign printed you’d proof read it.  Apparently not.  Bravo, sirs.  Bravo.

Apostrophe Abuse: 1Apostrophe abuse is something that get’s (sorry) my goat, and so I’m always amused to see examples of it in the wild – especially from people who really should know better.

Today’s example come’s (excuse me) from the Design House Restaurant in Dean Clough Mills, Halifax.  Note the “if it has an S, it needs an apostrophe” approach – and enjoy the additional bonus of a note regarding “accsess.”